Someone check on the Minot PAO

It's a slow day, so let's photoshop a B-52.

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Bit of a slow day in national security and just a slow day here trying to find interesting things to write about. And I ran out of ideas so this is just a bunch of links for today. Hope your Thursday’s awesome.


From the ‘gram

Yup, there’s an Instagram. It has things like this in it.

I call this one, "Man Runs To Catch Falling Boat," part of the "Guard's Gonna Guard" series. #natsectacular
September 8, 2019

Quote of the Day

"I think if he was in the battlefield, he probably would've been shot in the back.”

Testimony in the investigation into Air Force Lt. Gen. Lee Levy II and his time as head of the Air Force Sustainment Center based in Tinker Air Force Base.


Tweet of the Day

That’s a B-52 with Shia LaBeouf’s face photoshopped on it.

Because the B-52 Stratofortress is also know as a BUFF, or Big Ugly Fact Fucker. Or “fellow” if you’re from 1955, pleat your pants, and have mixed feelings about who’s using “your” water fountain.

Well played, Team Minot.


Video of the day

Well?

Is it?

And yeah, the snappy GIF doesn’t make anything better.

I get that.

I also get that programs like this suffer from:

  1. Lack of funding

  2. Lack of support

  3. Lack of evidence they work

It’s not the amnesty bit that’s hard, it’s the reintegration. And while being Taliban is a shitty job, it’s still a job. And leaving that job for not a job is going to be a hard sell. Because Afghanistan suffers from staggering unemployment, and what the next insurgency needs to be successful is a bunch of unemployed military age males.


Collateral Linkage

  • If you’re worried that your Hellfire’s not sufficiently scary, why not put knives on it? Enter the R9X, aka the “flying Ginsu,” because dropping an anvil on a target’s head wasn’t enough. In theory, it’s meant to reduce civilian casualties because it doesn’t blow up but it still sounds like an over-engineered Acme product.

  • Because who doesn’t love Mongolian barbeque, the Air Force wants to unleash its own “Golden Horde”, a semi-autonomous AI-driven collaboration between missiles so they can hit their targets. Except that Genghis Khan’s Golden Horde referred to a portion of his empire, not a thundering herd of Mongol warriors. But the name’s cool anyway.

  • Beijing’s finally enough of an influencer to worry NATO, as its member states now recognize that China presents “security implications.”

  • Looks like former Russian mafia hitmen are finding a nice side hustle murdering Chechen refugees in Berlin on behalf of Moscow’s security services. It probably pays better than Uber, and you get to give yourself a five-star rating every time.

  • Turns out the US military’s not all that cool with its official emblems being used on dog tags with Bible verses and has asked the company making them to knock it off. Because they’re in violation of a Pentagon directive that bans this sort of thing. And before you get all “war on Christians” about this, maybe get some Quran dog tags for that true believer in your life.

  • And what better way to show your support for the 2nd Amendment than with the accidental gift of an assault rifle wrapped up in the baby bouncer box you picked up at the Goodwill?

  • Finally, turns out that housing survey that made it sound like most people who were happy with their military provided housing? Asked the questions all wrong. So instead of, “Would you recommend privatized housing?”, people were asked on a scale of zero to five if they agreed with: “I would recommend this community to others.”


NATSECTACULAR, elsewhere